October 17, 2006

Sweet Delicious Muni

I went to work late on Friday. At least a couple hours. That means that commuters had been coming and going from the outbound Van Ness and Market bus stop for at least 3 or 4 hours. The bus stop was covered in shit. Person shit. There was even a little wad of toilet paper smashed into a pile.

There’s no way anyone would squat down and take a crap in front of morning rush hour, so I guess the poop had been there all morning, since before the crowds. And it was still there. I thought maybe someone’s reported the giant steaming turdpiles and they just haven’t come to clear them yet, but just in case, I did my civic duty and told the bus driver, “Hey, don’t know if you can call it in or something, but there are human feces all over that bus shelter!” He looked over at the shelter and bugged his eyes out of his head in a cartoon of horrified shock. I heard him call it in a few minutes later, and by the way he had to describe where and what, it sure didn’t sound like anyone else had reported it yet. We all hate Muni, but they’ll still hightail it to clean human feces off the bus stop. If they know it’s there. I give myself a little pat on the back for being the one person who didn’t think, eh, someone else will tell 'em it’s a mess.

So anyway, we’re on our way up Van Ness and I am looking at the morning passengers and this dowdy woman gets on and holds the rail a few seats down from me. Brown forgettable dress and coat, mousy hair, plain chubby face, but… she has at least 4 facial piercings. One of the bull nose rings, and 3 lip rings. One on each side of her mouth, and one in the middle. The middle lip ring has a dangly charm on it. She’s chewing gum like an over caffeinated cow. With every chew the charm bounces up and flips around and dangles down. Bounces up and flips around and dangles down. Bounces up and flips around and dangles down. Bounces up and flips around and dangles down.

One day I won’t be able to stop laughing at someone and I’ll get the crap beaten out of me.

Posted by allison at October 17, 2006 03:45 PM